The five stages of grief were introduced by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross as a way to describe common approach to grief and loss. Getting ready to quit a job can create a similar process of “grieving.” When you really hate your job and want to quit, your thoughts and moods often go through similar stages:
1. Denial: "I don't hate my job - I'm glad to have it. Everyone is nice to me. The benefits are great..." This is the stage where you try to remind yourself of all the good and comforting things about your job, even though you have a nagging feeling that your job is slowly making you crazy.
2. Anger: "Grrrr! I never want to do this kind of work ever again! Never never never!" The anger stage can be painful, but necessary - if you feel yourself losing your patience at the office, if you find yourself feeling emotionally exhausted at the end of the day, if you need a drink (or two) upon arriving home from work, then congratulations - you're at the "Anger" stage.
3. Bargaining: "If I get a raise, I'll stay for one more year." “If my boss quits, I’ll stay.” “If something better comes along, I’ll quit.” This stage is where you start making little side deals with yourself – you start weighing various contingences, doing a gut check - are you really ready to quit? Are you really ready to find a new job? Wouldn't it be easier to just stick it out for awhile longer at the miserable-but-lucrative job that you have? At the Bargaining stage, you'll find yourself making little deals with the universe - "give me a sign that I can stay at this job." "If my boss resigns, I'll stay. If the division gets reorganized, I'll stay."
4. Depression: Possibly the worst stage, this is where you start to feel like a caged animal; be careful not to lose your temper and snap at anyone. You start to show signs of solitary confinement - isolation combined with constant surveillance. This stage of hating your job can be especially risky for your career - you might get fired before you get a chance to quit.
5. Acceptance: The final stage of hating your job – you start to feel like a lobotomy patient. You tell yourself things like, "It's not so bad. I don't know what else I'd rather do with my life, anyway. Oh well." Beware of this stage - if you don't quit your job soon, you might end up staying at this job until your retirement.
If you really, really hate your job - if you feel like every day is an exercise in endurance, if you fear that your life is becoming a slow slide into mediocrity and low-grade depression, if you feel that you have nothing to look forward to but a vague sense of frustration, then you really need to get out. Life is too short to spend your waking hours doing something you hate.
Ben Gran is a freelance writer based in Des Moines, Iowa. He is an award-winning blogger who loves to write about careers and the future of work.
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