You've seen the writing on the wall. The economy has been in shambles for the last couple of years, and although it is showing some small signs of improvement, you know that it will take a long time to make a full recovery. Your company isn't doing to good, and you have seen some of your co-workers let go and have been taking on more work to fill the gaps.
But, still, you think that it just can't happen to you. They wouldn't let you go. You have been working there for a long time and the last thing you want to do is start over somewhere else. And, you keep believing that, right up until you can't keep denying the obvious.
Losing a job is really hard, and you have to give yourself, and your emotions time to catch up. Just like any sort of loss, that means working through the emotional stages of loss and grief in order to come to terms with it and move forward.
Here are the 5 emotional stages of job loss:
- Denial – The aren't going to let me go. I am crucial to the company and they would have a hard time getting by without me. Denial is an amazing thing. It can make you not be able to see the cold, hard facts that are staring you dead in the face. Don't fool yourself and think that it can't happen to you. Job loss can happen to anyone, and it is much easier if you can start looking for your next job while you still have a job.
- Disbelief – When you lose your job, it is normal to spend a few days thinking that they must have made some sort of mistake. Any moment, you will get the phone call explaining the mix up and giving you your job back. Surely, this can't be really happening?
- Anger – Anger can either take a very direct form, where you talk about how stupid your company was, how much you hated your boss and how unfair it is that they let you go. You might find yourself spending a great deal of time wishing for the company to fail. This is all very healthy, but if you don't find ways to express your anger in healthy way, you may find your self lashing out at the people you care about the most. If you start to feel angry and behave in hurtful ways to your family and friends, you may want to find someone to talk to that can help you work through it.
- Self-criticism – This is much worse if you were fired rather than laid off. You will keep asking yourself what you did wrong. Beating yourself up over your failings, whether perceived or actual. Your self-esteem tanks, and you feel worthless. These feelings will lead you right into the next step.
- Withdrawal – This stage is scary for both you and your loved ones. It can very easily turn into a full blown depression. During this time, you won't want to go out of your house, or talk to anyone. You stop doing the things that you previously enjoyed and instead, you would rather sleep, lay on the couch and watch movies or just wallow in self-pity. It is crucial at this point to find the inner strength (and a few good friends who care about you) to get up and get moving. Forcing yourself to just get dressed and go outside each day can help you work through this quickly. As you start to pull out of this depression, you start thinking about what happened. And then you head quickly into stage 6.
- Reflection – This is the time when you can honestly assess where you are and where you want to be. Take stock of things and start thinking about how to find a new job. You start looking forward and thinking of the best plan of attack. And, as you start moving forward with those plans, you end up in Stage 7.
- Acceptance – This is the point when you accept that everything that happened in the past happened. There is no point looking back and placing blame. Take the lessons you learned and move forward. Even though you don't have that job anymore, there are still opportunities to be had. So, you pull yourself up and go climb up the next mountain.
Which of these stages do you think is the most difficult, and how did you work through them? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section.
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By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer, along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.
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