Don’t Sing the Job-Hunting Blues!

Posted by in Career Advice •


You created the resume. You composed the cover letter. You bought the suit to dress for success. You applied for various job openings and now you wait. You wait for the phone to ring inviting you to interview. You wait to learn of job leads. Waiting…it’s a hard place to be in a job search.

The in-between time in a job search can be a lonely, isolating time. Suddenly, it seems like everyone is working except you. The job search can make you feel benched, out of the game and more of a spectator rather than a player. It’s easy to get the job-hunting blues…that place of being in limbo.

Often, our mindset can be our enemy or ally. It’s a matter of perspective. The negative mindset can start to gnaw at us with belittling comments. We can start to second-guess ourselves with questions regarding our performance, what we could have done differently, how we could have prevented our situation, and so on.

The feelings of leaving or losing a job when nothing better is on the immediate horizon are described in the Kubler-Ross Model on Death and Dying. Kubler-Ross identified the five stages as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (not necessarily in order). Likewise, not having income, loss of benefits and losing a sense of belonging and security are part of the grief process…so is waiting.

While you are in this place, you might feel the sense of the cup as half full. It’s an important time for self-care. The dark skies will eventually clear, but taking care of you, reaching out to others and accepting an outreached hand can make the journey less agonizing.

Here are some tips to help you cope with the job-hunting blues:

 

  • Read - Reading for pleasure, relaxation, escape…either way, it’s a good time to let your mind be engaged. Research companies or educational opportunities. Make a trip to the library. Consider reading to your children as well.
     
  • Reflect - The question is, what’s next? Take time to ponder the question. This time in your life can provide insight into your strengths, values and what you contribute to the workplace. Maybe it’s time to retool, return to school, relocate or explore a career change. Take time to be with the issues and uneasiness rather than avoid them. Write down your observations. Take time to deepen the learning as you prepare to forward your action.
     
  • Exercise - It’s just what you might not feel like doing, but it is beneficial. This could be a good time to try yoga, lift weights, walk, use the exercise bike, play with your children, etc. Exercise is good for the heart and the mind. You might also enjoy the benefits of dropping some weight and firming up. The extra energy can be a boost to your job search and a healthier body can help you be more confident for future interviews.
     
  • Network - You’re not the only one looking for work. You don’t have to be alone with the process of a job search. Meet a friend for coffee. Attend a job transition support group. Call the Workforce Development Center. Contact a temporary employment agency or outplacement specialist. Learn more about support opportunities and options in your area.
     
  • Volunteer - There are opportunities all around. What do you enjoy? How could you contribute? Whether you sort food at a food shelf, visit a nursing home, or mow the lawn for an elderly neighbor, volunteering for a few hours can make a difference for you and them. Volunteering can be a form of networking as well.
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  • Barbara Wulf  MS, GCDF, CPCC
    Hey readers, it's me (Barb the author and career coach)...thank you for all of the comments.  I'm checking in and it's January 2010.  Happy New Decade, well sort of.  Looks like we are not going to see much for change in the job market and economy, so bundle up for a chilly winter.  I wish you well and hope you will continue to persevere.  Stay in touch with humanity and practice extreme self-care during these challenging times.  Ask for help if you need it.   
  • Barbara Wulf  MS, GCDF, CPCC
    Hi Readers...I am thrilled to see so many of you leaving a message on the article I wrote on the Job-Hunting Blues.  It's a tough job market out there, no question about that.  I share your concerns about not having insurance, worries about paying bills, buying food and putting gas in your tank.  I can easily see how one can become depressed and hopeless.  Call me crazy, but I encourage you to find the emotional support  you need to keep you from spiraling down.  These are trying times and despite the challenge, I encourage you remember, this is not All About YOU, it's about the economy.  Work on self-preservation...walk, read, go to the library, go to the park, go to the Workforce Centers, plant a garden (seeds are cheap), go to church, call a friend, go to a work support group...just go.  Refuse to get stuck, rigid, breakable and fragile.  That sense of desperation will not fuel your ongoing job search and if you get an interview, you will be flat and not very employable in that "state of mind."I encourage all of you sign up for my free ezine, OWN IT, LIVE IT, WORK IT at my website.  It has some tips for you.  I also want to remind you that sometimes I see people who are not working "smart" just working "hard."  Make sure you are working your job search in the most efficient way and I encourage all of you to "think outside the box."  Write an IMPACT Letter not merely a Cover Letter.  Do some cold calling and tell people you are looking.  In the meantime, you might take a job at Starbucks or stocking shelves at the grocery store.  It's spring and you can do lawn mowing or maybe build a deck for someone.  Spring always means some construction, fix up and clean up.  Canvas your neighborhood for cleaning jobs, window washing, dog walking, etc.  It's about getting going, getting up and getting momentum.  Remember Gumby?  I heard someone once say, "Blessed are flexible for they shall not get bent out of shape!"  Go Gumby!
  • Olga Sundstrom
    Olga Sundstrom •
    I agree with Peggy and several others. I have been unemployed since Novemer of 2007.  At first, I had great success in getting interviews with former employers but since the year started it's slowed down and no stopped.  I've even flown and driven out of state for job interviews with still no success.  One of the problems that I've encountered is the dreaded question...."What is your minimum salary expectation"?  In most interviews that has been one of the last questios, however, I've also been asked that questions by recruiters on the phone without even getting an opportunity to discuss the job.  The conversation will start on how impressive my resume is and then the salary question.  I've tried to steer away from that as much as possible by asking them what the job salary range is and sometimes they will provide it and others will tell me that they need to hear my minimum requirement.  My prior experience has been in banking operations and management; I have many transferrable skills.  There are many jobs out there that will specialize their skills so much that it does not allow for another professional from a different industry to discuss their talents and capabilities; and that makes it hard for the job hunter to get noticed.   I also agree with Kevin C. that job hunting on the internet is awful! Most employers want you to fill out applications and profiles on their websites, you cannot show up in person because you must have a specific position in order to apply.  I've also tried applying for part time, clerical, and administrative positions; once you send them your resume you are over qualified. I'm also concerned about taking a job making less than I was making because you appear desparate to employers and it will become more difficult to work your way to what you were making.  On the other hand, it's a paycheck and it's better than nothing.  While I know that I cannot give up, it's becoming harder everyday and it's taking a tole on my family as well.  My financial reserves are drained and frankly, so am I.  
  • Monica
    Monica •
    The information is dead on! These are the things that I have been doing since my lay-off. I too have been laid-off for over a year now and this is also my second time in 4 years that this happened to me. I have gone through all of the stages and back several times. I say to all of you out there in the same situation as I am, "Keep your thoughts positive and do what you can." I have a Masters degree and feel that I may have wasted precious money and time on acquiring these degrees, but I stay focused and know that this too shall pass. I am returning to school to obtain another trade (certificate) within my field in the summer and pray that something positive happens in the economy by then. We all get rejected and second guess ourselves when we are faced with these types of situations…don’t give in and don’t give up. You are not alone.
  • Linda
    Linda •
    create a blog while your in between jobs...great way to do something you enjoy, meet people, and may be something you can even utilize in your resume or on interviews...managing a blog requires writing skills, time management, marketing, and some technical skills so with a little effort it's a great way to use down time...
  • P shah
    P shah •
    I agree to the suggestions. In fact, I am experiencing the same. Reflect, yes, I am trying to analyze what has gone wrong & how I could have avoided it. Doing SWOT of my career gives me feeling of loosing your status. my is peculiar case, where due to ego clash with the MD (of Owner driven Company)where I have worked for 24+ yrs (my first job & started working with company with present MD's father's time). Difficult to digest & not able to approach known faces in Industry, due to my status (regarded by outsider as part of owner's family Man).everyone is interested to know why now? Can anyone give me solution? Ours is peculiar industry where only 2/3 big companies are operating and my experience is counted by them only.
  • Jim
    Jim •
    It is most disconcerning to see how discouraged so many of the bloggers are; it is critical that you stay as positive as possible or the lack of spirit will show in interviews and other contacts. If you haven't done it, I encourage everyone to make a list of everyone you know (at least 100 names) and start contacting everyone asking for a brief meeting; tell them what your circumstances are and ask them to keep you in mind if they hear of any opportunities; people want to help, but they need to know that someone needs help. It is no secret that the most important element to a successful job hunt is networking; sixty to seventy percent of jobs landed are the result of networking, while on-line job boards result in no more than five to seven percent. Please network, network, network! I received a call from a recruiter just yesterday and had a nice chat; it was just a random business call for her and she casually asked if I knew of any bi-lingual candidates for one of her client's customer service operations, I put out my feelers and just by this morning I was able to forward contact info to her on several qualified candidates that were seeking opportunities; my point is simply that one never knows who will establish inroads to our next opportunity. My next point is that once you land your next opportunity do not stop looking because in today's world anything can happen anywhere at anytime so always be prepared mentally and emotionally. Very best wishes to all for success in the hunt.    
  • Tanya
    Tanya •
    I wish this newsletter had come to me a few months ago, I could have used the motivation.  It seems I have gotten over the slump (I hope).  I think I will still include some of these suggestions into my everyday routine.  I am hoping that I am on the verge of becoming employed, I have a return interview coming up.  I have a positive mindset for this position.  I would like to know about a support group to help you during your time of job seeking, I didn't know something like that exsisted.
  • Carole
    Carole •
    Someone ought to print this posting and send it to the President and Congress!  After all, they have allowed the current economic situation to come about.  I want to work, and I'm an experienced person with a good work ethic.  But like many of you, I belong to the largest cohort of people in US history, so I guess employers feel that they can be as picky, fickle, and down-right disrespectful as they please when there are so many of us to choose from.  I have been unemployed since the middle of August, 2007, and I started looking before my contract expired.  Before I break into my meager savings, I will move back to New England to be close to family, and use those funds to start my own business.  It can't be any tougher than looking for a job has been!  I've supported myself all these years, so it's hard to admit defeat and ask my family for help when they have bills to pay themselves.  If this is part of God's plan, I'm guessing that it's a group test rather than a test of individuals.  This whole country needs to change direction, and fast!
  • sarasota,Fl
    sarasota,Fl •
    I have been doing all the things that this articles says but i still have been out of work for over two months now and have gone on dozens of interviews. At first I thought it was just me but i have a solid work history i have only had two jobs in the past ten years which I know employers like to see I also have received my life and health license I can bartend and do many different things but still no job has come for me. I'm not the only one either a few of my friends are in the same boat is it just the economy or am I doomed to be living in the streets real soon?? need major help in Sarasota
  • Kevin Connelly
    Kevin Connelly •
    I guess it is true that misery loves company, as it helps to hear that you are not the only one struggling. I'm 51 and left my job for a position that was to be vacated, then wasn't. I've been out of work since August 07. I have three smaller children and a wife who's been out of the workforce for 5 years. We're sinking very deep and I have never been so frustrated or worried before. This is my first time out of work and although I've worked many areas, never had to look before. This internet seaching seems to be a crap game and I would kiss the ground for just a few interviews. It seems unfortunate that I have a very different background at being successful at many things because I don't think I get past the recruiters. I am truly at a loss for what to do. As far as the article, I would love to do fill time with exercise and reading, volunteering and learning, but then everyone worries I'm not looking for work. So, most of my time is wasted in front of this dumb screen. I hope for the unemployed everyday and will throw all of you into my thoughts.
  • Eric
    Eric •
    I just want Peggy ( the # 3 posting ) to know that she is in good company.I am living her painful experience and I just hope that she is lucky like me and has good family support. It can be tough Peggy. I know.I wish you the best. Try reading books that might help you.
  • Yota Knox
    Yota Knox •
    I have been out of work now since mid June 2007 and it is very frustrating.  This is the first time that I have been out of work since finishing college in 1992.  I can relate to so many of you on different levels.  I am 40 years old and have worked in healthcare for the most part since 1992 and did not think for one minute that I would be out of work for so long.  I relocated to Massachusetts from NYC in October and although I have gotten interview calls, there have been no offers (I didn't get any calls in NYC).  Many companies want you to list salary requirements or salary history and it seems if yours is too high or you made too much, you can forget it.  I wish they would give people the opportunity to make a decision about salary for themselves.  It bugs me that they want this information for past positions that are not even related to what you are applying for. Like many have said, I am even looking into lesser paying work in call centers that I did part-time in NYC and I can't even get a job here doing that. Bills need to be paid regardless.  I have read about people talking of being overqualified and getting turned down but I never really thought I would be experiencing it.  My husband seems to think that I am not serious about finding work and that I am being "nonchalant" about it.  That is so far from the truth.  It is hard but I can't give up faith. I have nothing else to hold onto.  My savings are gone and he has been sustaining from month to month with seasonal/temp work here and there.  I am going to print some of your stories and give him to read, maybe then he will understand.  I wish you all the best.
  • Antoine
    Antoine •
    This is a great piece.  It helps to know that there are other people who are struggling to find employment.  I feel for the people who are a little older and it seems like they have the right credentials but is still not being considered.  I have a college degree and also some military experience but I can't seem to find the right job that I can spend 20+ years doing and retire.  It becomes stressful each day I am not working because I have a big family (5 kids) and they have to eat and the bills are starting to pile up.  My wife is a real estate agent and we all know how the market is.  My main concern is that my children don't have any medical insurance.  We all know that anything can happen at any time when it comes to children.  I will try to do some of things suggested to see if that helps.  I have been out of work for about a month now.  Right now, I am seriously considering going back into the Navy just for the security of a steady paycheck, great insurance and a retirement to look forward to.  I hope everyone has some luck soon.  
  • Dawn
    Dawn •
    The law state that companies should not discriminate because of age. We have all been victims of this. I am sure the State of Illinois unemployment office have seen this trend of 50+ losing their jobs when applying for unemployment compensation. With compensation lasting only for 6 months, I wonder if they even care that we now have no other means of supporting ourselves? What is the government doing about this, don't they see this?
  • Dennis
    Dennis •
    After reading alot of comments, I don't feel as bad as I thought. I've been unemployed for 3 1/2 months so far and haven't had more than a handful of interviews. Face it folks, the competition is fierce! you need to try and stand out, make that once a week follow up call to keep your name fresh in their minds, call the day after the interview to say thanks and looking forward to hearing from them etc etc. Some of you may do this, others don't. Networking can help. Maybe a career change is another person's solution. Believe me, I have my good days and not so good. Sounds like alot of us out here worked for many years at their previous positions and now are finding it difficult to adjust. Hang in there, keep positive, keep looking, ask friends/family for leads if they can. Best wishes to all!
  • Brad
    Brad •
    I've been out of permanent work for about 5 years now. After working at some long-term assignments that I had hoped to turn into permanent jobs, I realized that wasn't going to happen as it had in the past. When I approached someone at a temp agency last week, I was told I wouldn't qualify for a sales job listed on their board because I'd had too many temp jobs. So be careful about getting side-tracked from pursuing a job that you really need. By the way, I ended up using the last of my 401K plan a couple of weeks ago.
  • Todd
    Todd •
    I had been working on a contract funded by the state until a new governor came on board and changed everything. My contract was cut due to funding. I found a low-wage job to fill the gap but it doesn't pay the bills. One recruiter has "promising leads" but have heard nothing since activating. I follow up - nothing. I have been able to piece together part time opportunities but it doesn't bring back the 401K and other benefits that others seem to have.
  • Don Messick
    Don Messick •
    Great piece. Very thought provoking and encouraging. I have been off for about 15 months after 21 years with the same employer. I tried my hand at real estate for six months, spending time and money that I now regret given the state of that industry today. Recently (over the past 90 days) I started networking with absolutely anyone and everyone and have had 5 interviews. All of them went exceedingly well (one guy actually invited me to a game of golf after awarding the position to another candidate). AND, I am waiting for the answer even here today, to the question of whether or not I will get the position that I interview for a few weeks ago. I know that I am absolutely the most qualified candidate, and so do they. But I am also 53 years old. It is a job that I can do in my sleep and has great earnings potential. But I am having one heck of a time being Patient. I really, really want to call and test the water to see if I got it, but I don't want to bug (bother) them either. Patience is after all, something that we are supposed to learn with time. Yes, I am running out of money. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I have second guessed myself about a million times. AND YES, I get depressed. But I do stay busy every day. I read, I work on the house and I network. And today, after reading this piece, I decided to go play golf (make a little investment in my mental and physical health). Of course, I am such a goofy optimist that I don't rule out my meeting someone out on the course who may just be looking for someone exactly like me. Hey, it could happen! But what I am not going to do is sit around feeling sorry for myself. As has already been said, 'this too shall pass'. Keep your chins (pun intended) up and make the most out of this great day.
  • Monna
    Monna •
    It has helped me to read that so many women are in the same predicament as I am.  I was just notified after another interview that there was a better candidate yet again.  And I was recommended to this large non profit from one of the Directors I know socially.  I cannot prove anything either but I know it must be due to age, I'm 59 and salary history.  I gave them lower than the salary range I was looking for, but it was probably too high for this non profit.  I tried to find out what was their preferred range but was not able to get that information.It is really too depressing to continually come in second!  I got to hang in there though, I don't have a family, nor close friends nearby.  It is very trying to be in this cruel world all alone.
  • 609-397-7638
    609-397-7638 •
    I've been out for five months now, I've been interviewing, but I seem to not make any headway. I was at my last job for over five years, then suddenly terminated for no reason other then the owner wanted to take the company in another direction. I'm over fifty, and no one seems to take this seriously, I've applied for jobs that I'm over qualified for, and can't even seem to land them. I've reduced my salary requirements to the point where it's starting to be a joke. I've even decided that I may be better in the long run to open my own business. I've started to pick up lines, and have had a few bites, but it's a long tedious process to open your own, and funding can be a problem.I'm convinced that the industry I'm in is so full of BS it's not even funny anymore. I'm not a rocket scientist for crying out loud, I sell food, how difficult do they think this is. I've made connections all across the country, I've worked with major chains, and major distributors. I've got contacts a younger less experienced person wouldn't even know where to begin looking. All I seem to get is that we are in the beginning stages of hiring, I turn around and two days later they hired some one else. Can anyone explain this?Sorry for rambling, and venting but it's down right depressing, and I don't care what these so called experts have to say, it hurts.
  • Sophia
    Sophia •
    I agree with Peggy about the feelings she is having about not being able to find employment but what I do disagree with is the fact that age or size is playing a role.  I am 26 years old recently graduated with a bachelors and have been looking for a permanent job for 2 years now.  Only thing I could snatch up along the way have been internships and I busted my tail for those companies.  They seem completely impressed with my work, tell me I have alot going for myself, say that the company should hire me but yet and still, here I am unemployed again.  What upsets me more is the same students I worked with that I know for a fact dont do anything and could care less about their job are still there.  The manager found some loophole into getting them in their permanently.  I have at least 5 variations of my resume, I spend at least a half hour detailing cover letters to specific openings, I can't even get a job working at a grocery store!  They tell me I'm over qualified!  Just because I'm overqualified means that I have to starve?  I'm willing to do what it takes to do the job but they dont want me.  I barely get called for interviews and the ones I do get called for I completely nail them but dont get a call back.  And hearing from everyone that its going to be ok, someone will hire me is getting tiresome!  I've lost count of all the companies I have applied for in this month alone.  It's not just the 50+ individuals, its the younger ones too.  My bestfriend just became certified to become a police officer and has applied for every position in his state and after the interviews they tell him they need someone that closer fits their requirements.  How much more of a fit do they need when all they ask for is State certification and a passing score on their written and physical test and he's done all of that?  And he's 27.  He just got passed over recently for a position where the department picked an officer 3 times his size and knowingly less skilled.  He's about to lose his house now.  The job hunt is just not fair all the way around.
  • Jim
    Jim •
    These things are all well & good, but it took me almost 3 years after coming to Illinois to get the part time job that I have, & I feel that it is all due to my age as I am 61. As soon as I started assertively confronting the issue of age, I got this job, but it is not enough, & I am still looking. I think that many employers don't even consider me as a long term employee due to my age.
  • Catherine
    Catherine •
    I have read all the postings and am amazed to read that there are so many out there going through the same experienc in trying loate a new position.  I especially related to "Romaine's posting (#19.  After 1 year to date of job loss, and endlessly searching for a new positio, I have been invited into no more than 3 interviews! Being at a loss of what to do next, I have come to realize that I need to change what I have been doing.  But what is that going be? I don't know, possibly something legitimate online?  Anyone know of such an opportunity?
  • Sandy
    Sandy •
    I agree with so many of your postings. I am 46 and not as slim/trim as I once was, and I keep coming in second place (I'm sure to younger, thinner competition but I can't prove it). After my company closed I too took some time off, but continued to look for work during that 6 month period. I applied for over 35-40 jobs and only got interviews at a handful of them. I am in the clerical/admin field and am willing to take a lower paying job than I once had as a legal secretary, but guess employers don't believe that. I am so burned out on looking for work that I don't even want to try anymore. It has taken its toll on my marriage and family life (relatives seem to just think I'm lazy, which is far from the case). It is very difficult to stay positive and focused when faced with so much rejection.

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