Too Much Information, Please!

After the craziness of a house full of guests over the holidays, my husband and I decided to go out for a casual dinner at a local ribs place. They are known for their slow-cooked, fall-off-the-bone, finger-licking, smoky-roasted ribs. People come for the ribs, and we were no exception.

Visions of those sweet, sticky ribs melting in my mouth were all I could think of as we drove into the parking lot. The hostess seated us at our table, and we waited for our server. When she finally arrived, the look on her face told me something was wrong. She started out by saying, “We have a problem. There are no ribs. Someone forgot to put them in or something, and they aren’t ready yet. This is a rib place, but you would think that they would remember to put in the ribs at least. I can’t get a straight answer from the manager, either.” She made her statement rolling her eyes and putting in a few loud sighs here and there.

We were disappointed that the meal we came for wasn’t available, but I was shocked at her attempt at conversation. It was bad enough that they didn’t have their signature dish, but we certainly didn’t need to know that she thought the managers or cooks were idiots. Instead of supporting the restaurant team in a difficult situation, she threw the kitchen staff and management “under the bus.”

She took our drink orders and we waited and waited for it to arrive. After about 10 minutes, our server came back and saw that our drinks had not been delivered. With a sigh and a roll of the eyes, she said, “I don’t know what that bartender is doing. I guess she can’t manage to make a couple of drinks and wait tables at the same time.” Two for two. Another screech of the tires and another one goes under the bus.

It was embarrassing to be forced to hear this information from a server who didn’t understand the boundaries between staff and customers. The managers, cooks and bartender weren’t the ones that came off looking bad—it was our server. A difficult situation is an opportunity for a team to pull together and help everyone look good, not place blame. Our server came off as unprofessional and whiney. We hadn’t been to that restaurant in a long time, and due to the poor service—not the lack of ribs—we won’t be back very soon if at all.


Mary Nestor-Harper, SPHR, is a freelance writer, blogger, and workplace consultant. Based in Savannah, GA, her work has appeared in "Training" magazine, "Training & Development" magazine, "Supervision," “BiS Magazine” and "The Savannah Morning News." You can read her blogs at www.skirt.com/savannahchick, www.workingsmartworks.blogspot.com/ and on the web at www.mjnhconsulting.com.