The "Thankless" Boss

Years ago when I was an administrative assistant at Marriott Corporation I had a boss that was very short on appreciation and praise. He wasn’t ungrateful, just didn’t say much about my work, my efficiency or anything. He was a Controller and responsible for the financial operations of our Division. Maybe it was his temperament or his affinity for numbers, but he either wasn’t paying attention or interested in letting me know he particularly liked my work.

Secretary’s Day came around, and I was sure that he would at least take the opportunity to give me some recognition. I circled the day on his calendar and put flyers with “Secretary’s Day” on it at the top of his pile of mail. When I came in that day, I didn’t see anything—no card, no flowers, no nothing. Disappointed, I went into his office and asked him if he knew what this special day was. He looked up from his spreadsheet over the top of his glasses, and shrugged. When I said it was Secretary’s Day, he looked embarrassed, and then told me to order some flowers for myself. What! I felt that this was a turning point in our working relationship. I politely told him that ordering my own flowers would somehow negate any positive effect and suggested that he call a local florist if he thought I deserved some flowers.

Now, you really have to know your boss well or be very comfortable with getting nothing to take such a bold step. Nothing more was said, but that afternoon I got a great bouquet of flowers in a special Secretary’s Day mug, which I kept for many years.

I worked for Bob for about two years and then had a great opportunity to move to the Hotel Division as a Consumer Affairs Manager, responsible for Customer Service tracking and improvement for all Marriott’s West Coast Hotels and Resorts. It was a great opportunity, and I know that part of the reason I got the job was the good referral I got from Bob as my last manager. Two years later, I was recruited back to the Benefits Administration, the department where Bob was the Controller. As the person who had final approval for all hires, I know that he had to give his “OK” before I was hired into a supervisor position. A thousand thank you notes or bouquets of flowers couldn’t measure up to the vote of confidence I got from Bob in his positive referrals for increasingly responsible positions that furthered my career. Not everyone is wired to ooze appreciation. It comes in many forms in its own time. Doing your best job, being true to yourself and respecting each other’s unique personality makes you the kind of person that people appreciate the most.

Mary Nestor-Harper, SPHR, is a consultant, blogger, motivational speaker and freelance writer for Administrativejobs.com. Based in Savannah, GA, her work has appeared in Training magazine, Training & Development magazine, Supervision, BiS Magazine and The Savannah Morning News. When she’s not writing, she enjoys singing Alto II with the Savannah Philharmonic Chorus and helping clients discover what they love and spend their life on it. You can read more of her blogs at administrativejobsblog.com and view additional job postings on Nexxt.