The holidays mean getting together—for family dinners, cocktail parties, holiday concerts, church suppers, and casual drop-ins. It’s a time to be with people you care about and meet new friends as well. Lots of food, drinks and conversation. The food and drink part of those gatherings are easy. But if you are still looking for a job this season, the conversation part can be tough. Once Aunt Joan finds out you still don’t have a job after a whole year you are likely to become the topic of conversation around the dinner table.
The fact that you don’t have a job after a year of applying for hundreds of jobs and scoring a big fat zero jobs is distressing enough for you. But spending an evening fielding the question, “did you ever find a job?” and enduring the shocked then distressed faces of one relative or friend after another can be too much to take. Another double vodka on the rocks, please!
Before you go to your next holiday party, prepare some responses or, better yet, some conversation starters of your own.
1. “Yes, I’m still looking. Thanks for asking.” The honest approach is sometimes the best. Be up front and don’t be defensive.
2. “I’ve used the time to study ______ to open up other job possibilities.” You can fill in the blanks. If you’ve taken a class, learned a new language, or just honed your job search skills, you have been busy and focused on your future.
3. “I’ve learned so much about the job market and what not to do, I could write a book. In fact, I’m thinking about it.” A little self-deprecating humor lightens the mood and makes it easier to change the subject, such as “How’s your job going?”
4. “I actually have some solid possibilities. Can I use you as a personal reference?” This response throws the spotlight on the person asking the question and the future. Most people are willing to help.
5. “It’s been an interesting year. What advice can you give me as I continue my job search?” Pose this question to the most successful person in the room, or the person who just landed a new job. They may have some valuable tips that can help.
6. “Thanks for asking, but I’d rather not talk about it.” Again, this is an honest, polite way to tell a nosy, annoying person to “mind her own bees wax” (my mother’s favorite saying). Then, change the subject.
Keep things upbeat, and avoid going into all the distress, anger, sadness and disappointment you experienced over the last year. Holiday gatherings are networking opportunities, and you may just run into someone who really can help you find a hidden job that just became available at his company. Share your thoughts on the subject in the Comments section below.
Mary Nestor-Harper, SPHR, is a consultant, blogger, motivational speaker and freelance writer for communicationsjobs.net. Based in Savannah, GA, her work has appeared in Training magazine, Training & Development magazine, Supervision, BiS Magazine and The Savannah Morning News. When she’s not writing, she enjoys singing with the Savannah Philharmonic Chorus and helping clients reinvent their careers for today’s job market. You can read more of her blogs at communicationsjobsblog.com and view additional job postings on Nexxt.
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