According to entrepreneur and success coach Trevor Blake, being around complainers at work is not only unpleasant, but bad for your workplace brain and performance.
A recent study using functional MRIs found that negative words actually stimulate the areas of our brain associated with perceptions and cognitive functioning. The brain, it seems, can't distinguish fact from fiction, so if you keep hearing negative messages, your workplace behavior will change to fit these new perceptions.
So what can you do to defend yourself against workplace complaints? How can you rewire your brain and boost the occurrence of positive thoughts and behaviors? Here are Trevor Blake’s nine tips to help you survive the onslaught of complainers in your workplace:
- Become self-aware. If you feel like complaining, revise it and spin it into a positive before saying it aloud.
- Redirect the conversation. When conversing with a complainer, take control of the conversation. For example, complaints about coming to work on Mondays can be turned around with an appreciative statement about having rested up over the weekend.
- Smother a negative thought with a positive image. If a negative thought pops into your mind, replace it with a different image. This uses a process called "neurogenesis" to create new pathways in your brain that lead to positive behaviors.
- Don't try to convert others. When surrounded by complainers at a meeting or office party, don’t try to stop them or you’ll risk becoming a target. Simply ignore them and think of something pleasant.
- Distance yourself when possible. When coworkers start criticizing someone or something and you can escape, excuse yourself and take a break somewhere quiet -- preferably outside in the fresh air. Think of something pleasant before returning.
- Wear an invisible "mentality shield." Imagine that an invisible shield of positive energy descends from the sky and lightly covers your whole body. It protects you from others' negative words and emotions. This technique is used by professional athletes to deflect the negative energy of a hostile crowd.
- Create a private retreat. Mentally retreat to a private, special place in your imagination. Visualize a peaceful setting in your mind. This lets you appear to be listening when you're stuck with a coworker who is spewing vitriol.
- Transfer responsibility. When you're pressed against a wall while someone rants about all the injustices in their life, throw the responsibility back at them by saying, "So what do you intend to do about it?" In most cases, complainers don't want a solution or sympathy, they just want to vent.
- Forgive your lapses. We all complain occasionally. It's human to vent once in a while. So be kind to yourself after a lapse into victimhood and complaining -- and then start afresh. The less frequently you complain, the more time will pass between lapses into negativity. This is how rewiring the brain works.
Blake who authored the self-help book Three Simple Steps said, "I got interested in how thoughts affect behavior, and ultimately how they shape life outcomes after studying the lives of many successful people. Behavioral change--and even things like intelligence, skill mastery, positive emotions, and serendipity--starts with mental control.”
If you find yourself surrounded by purveyors of negativism at work, you now have the armor to protect yourself.
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