We hear a lot about transparency being the new buzz word for politicians, companies, managers and partners. Transparency depends on disclosure, and while it may help you get to know your boyfriend or spouse better, or make an informed decision on a politician or home purchase, there are times when it’s best to keep your personal life or other personal details to yourself. One area is the workplace. While co-workers and peers may reveal the intimate details of their lives to one another, doing the same with a manager or executive is a boundary best left uncrossed.
When a manager begins to take an employee into her confidence it can be an uncomfortable and slippery slope. There are people that you just naturally feel comfortable pouring your heart out to, but sharing too much puts a manager in a vulnerable position and the employee with a burden of information either too heavy to carry or too juicy to resist sharing. There are several boundaries around certain topics that should have a sign posted, “Keep Out!”
1. Family/spouse troubles. It can be lonely at the top, and if you’re on the way to a divorce, it can be tempting to pour out your heart to your administrative assistant who is such a good listener. She even said you seemed upset about something, and did you need to talk? Call your attorney, pastor or shrink and leave your admin out of it. The information may be too shocking or heavy for her to handle. Also, she may never reveal the company’s financial information but wouldn’t be able to keep the brakes on this revelation.
2. Your health. Ditto above. If you have a chronic condition or just broke your ankle, the basic details are fine, especially if you need to alter your work schedule or logistics to keep working. How it happened and all the gory details of your surgery or treatments may be fascinating to you but a bit much to bear for someone else.
3. Social media “friends.” Professional relationships stay in the office. There have been numerous stories of teachers who started “friending” students on Facebook or Twitter and eventually got so involved they ended up in jail. Comments posted on social networks travel, and yours could come back to haunt you.
4. After hours. It’s five o’clock, and the gang from Marketing is going out for drinks at the corner pub. Sounds like fun, and a quick drink and conversation isn’t out of the question. But one drink can lead to another and before you know it the alcohol has unlocked your tongue and you’ve said way too much. And the cute new guy you’re mentoring just slid into the booth next to you, making escape impossible. The perfect storm for career disaster. If you can’t have “just one,” make your excuses and head for home.
5. Hands off. Something as simple as helping someone on with her coat, putting your hand on someone’s arm to show how sincere you are, or giving a quick neck rub to your stressed-out co-worker can give the wrong signal. The digital age has eliminated the need for close proximity to communicate, but it hasn’t done away with the basic human need for touch and intimacy. A handshake that lasts too long or prolonged eye contact with a sexy smile can start the launch sequence to a blast off that goes out of control.
There is plenty of room for building professional working relationships, socializing and forming friendships with co-workers. Beware of stepping over boundaries that make others uncomfortable or put you in an awkward position that jeopardizes your integrity or career.
What other boundaries should stay uncrossed? Share your thoughts in the Comments section below.
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