We all need social contact. So what do you do if you don't have any friends at your job?
Let's face it. We're all humans, and as humans, we really need social interaction. It isn't enough to have a few friends and family members to talk to. We also need to have peers and professional colleagues to help keep us grounded, energized and to just have someone to bounce ideas off of. Building strong relationships with others in your industry can help you build a strong social network, help you advance in your career and can even help you find your next job.
The problem is, sometimes finding those types of peers is difficult. I think that everyone has been in the situation where the people you work with aren't very interested in becoming friends. So, when that happens, what do you do?
Here are 4 reason why you might not have friends at work, and what you can do to fix it.
- You're new – Even if you have been at your job for 6 months or more, depending on the office atmosphere, you may still be the “new kid”. Your co-workers are probably still hesitant to befriend you and want to be sure that you are going to stay before they invest time and energy into the relationship.How to fix it – There isn't much you can do in this situation. If you don't want to wait it out, you could try talking with your co-workers and looking for areas of common interest. Select one or two people with whom you feel you have the most in common with and ask them to lunch or ask for their advice. Once you have one friend, your other office mates might start to warm up to you.
- You may have made a bad impression – This can happen to anyone, especially at a new job. No one knows anything about you, so all they have to judge you on is your behavior. If you got off on the wrong foot or made a lot of mistakes while learning the job, your co-workers may not trust you.How to fix it – Depending on the situation, you may actually have to apologize and make it clear that it won't happen again. If you didn't make a huge mistake, but still feel as though your co-workers are distant, try helping them out with their projects. If neither of these seem like viable options, just be friendly to everyone and eventually they will come around.
- You're not a good fit with the corporate culture – This one is a biggie. Most companies and even many small offices have a culture all of their own. If you aren't a good fit with the culture, you'll probably have a hard time fitting in. This is why it's a good idea to research a company before accepting a job. Take a look at their culture and determine if it's a good match. For example, if you are a conservative person and took a job managing a Hot Topic, you may not find many people that you can relate to.How to fix it – There isn't really a good fix for this problem. Determine what changes you would need to make in order to fit in. If the changes are difficult or require you to try to be someone you aren't, you may want to find another job. In the long run, your work will suffer and you will find it hard to keep your job.
- You're an introvert, and you're overwhelmed – As an introvert myself, I can tell you that the worst situation for me is starting a new job and being surrounded by “strangers”. It can be overwhelming and the natural instinct for an introvert is to withdraw deeper into their shell. Although this is just a self-preservation instinct, it can make you come across as someone who is stuck up or not interested in friendship.How to fix it – The best way to stop working with a group of strangers is to get to know them. Then, they are just regular people. Try building a relationship with one or two co-workers and build from there. Also, be sure to keep a smile on your face when you walk through the office. Too often introverts are mistaken for being “stuck on themselves” or “snooty” because they don't smile and offer a friendly greeting to co-workers they pass everyday.
Navigating the social aspects of the workplace can feel a little like high school all over again. The thing is, having strong relationships with other people in your industry, at your level, can be invaluable to your career. If you don't have friends at work, hopefully these tips will help you break the ice.
Have you ever been the odd person out at a job? What did you do to make friends? Please share your suggestions in the comment section.
By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer for PhillyJobsBlog, along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.
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