You're Not the Only One Who Hates Their Job

Commiserating with others can often make you feel better, but if a friend told you he hated his job, you don't want to shut him down when he tries to share his feelings. Instead of piping up with gripes about your own job or saying that many other people are unhappy at work too, keep the conversation flowing with these three open-ended questions.

What's Happening With Your Job at This Particular Point in Time?

For your friend to want to vent about his job, something probably happened to escalate his frustrations. Ask him what is bothering him right now. What is the catalyst that set him off and made him say he hated his job? It might be something minor that has only occurred once or twice, or it might be something chronic that he's experienced repeatedly. Make sure to ask clarifying questions to get the whole picture. It also helps him work through his frustrations when he's able to voice his thoughts and explain his feelings. If he told you he hated his job, it probably means he wants to talk about it.

How Long Have You Been Feeling This Way? Is It Something New or Has It Been Going On for a While?

Your friend may not realize he's felt this way for a while, or maybe he just started feeling like he hated his job recently. Ask him some follow-up questions to try to get a sense of how he arrived at this feeling. Maybe it's just a new client who is demanding a lot of his time, or it could be that newer clients have different expectations than past clients, and he isn't happy with how his job has evolved. See if there are strategies he can implement to make his job more bearable, such as asking for help or making the expectations of the client relationship clearer.

Do You Think It's Time to Start Searching for a Different Job?

If your friend really isn't happy with his job and has worked through the five stages of hating your job — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — then maybe it's time for a job search, or he might have worked through these stages but isn't ready to move on to something else. It could be that he said he hated his job because he was mildly irritated or downright infuriated. People say things in the heat of the moment that they may not really mean in all seriousness. Listening and asking questions to help others work through their frustrations can be just what they need to stay where they're at or try something new. If your friend does decide he wants a new job, offer to share your insight about the job search process.

Your friend might have told you he hated his job, but that doesn't mean you should share your own frustrations or simply tell him that he's not the only one. Even if you feel you don't have any helpful advice to offer right now, just being there and lending a sympathetic ear to let him work through his thoughts aloud is often all that's needed.

Photo courtesy of Lost Nation Theater at Flickr.com