Ways to Deal With Rude People

Rude people are par for the professional course, no matter what your industry. Whether you're dealing with a customer or a colleague, a graceful response to rudeness can preserve your dignity and your business relationships.

Stay Cool

For people who value considerate behavior, rude people can provoke anger. When you feel your temper rising, take a few breaths. Remind yourself that the person's rudeness is likely not about you, and probably not intentional. Then, respond calmly and politely. Maintaining your cool is often enough to diffuse the situation — at the very least, it allows you to walk away feeling good about your response.

Be Kind

The motivations of rude people aren't always obvious. A colleague might be dealing with a traumatic personal situation, or a customer might be reacting to a bad past experience with your company's products or personnel. No matter what the reason, a kind response from you can transform the situation. Operate from a place of empathy, and make an effort to understand how the person might be feeling. Then, do what you can to help: express sympathy, thank them for their input or offer a solution. By responding with compassion, you can help the person and strengthen the relationship.

Point out the Rudeness

Rude people may be unaccustomed to being alerted to their behavior, usually because others are too polite to point it out. Stop rudeness in its tracks by pointing it out gently. There's no need for an angry confrontation or even an accusation. Instead, aim for a simple but pointed response. If a co-worker asks you an inappropriate personal question, say, "I'd rather not discuss that in the office, but thank you for asking." If a vendor is speaking loudly on his cell phone and disturbing other customers in your lobby, you might say, "If you're getting poor reception, the signal is usually better just outside." This strategy enables you to let a person know that they're being rude without embarrassing them with a public confrontation.

Speak to the Person

In some cases, it's important to confront rude people about their actions. In the moment, you can say, "I'm sure you didn't mean to be rude, but that comment was unwarranted." Alternatively, pull the person aside and address the problem: "I've noticed that you respond negatively to my contributions in meetings and casual discussions. Have I done something to offend you?" This strategy is acceptable for use with colleagues, but use extreme caution with clients or professional contacts — these business relationships might be too essential to the company to jeopardize with a confrontation. A better option is to discuss the situation with your supervisor, who can speak with the person, reassign you or advise you on how to proceed.

The way you respond to rude people at work has a significant impact on your reputation and working partnerships. By staying calm and professional, you can shut down rudeness without sacrificing work relationships.

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