Standing Up to Your Boss

Most workers deal with a difficult boss from time to time. Bad managers are a staple of everything from TV tropes to party jokes. Unfortunately, when your manager is doing things that interfere with your work, the situation is not so funny. Standing up to your boss is never easy, but with a little preparation and the right mindset, you can often improve the situation. Follow these steps to work towards a solution.

Think First

Never argue with a difficult boss when you are angry or overemotional. Instead, take some time to think about the situation. What exactly is your boss doing that bothers you? Try to figure out your manager's point of view. Is there a good reason for the things your boss does? If after some thought you still think your boss is wrong, write a list of your complaints and come up with a plan that you think would make things better.

Set an Appointment

After you have your list of grievances and goals set, make an appointment with your boss. Resolving conflict is easiest when you sit down together one on one without outside pressures. If you're nervous about letting your difficult boss know that there is a problem, simply say you need to discuss a personal situation.

Focus on Yourself

During the appointment, use your prepared list to tell your manager about the problem. Phrase all of your statements from your point of view. For example, say "I feel overwhelmed when" instead of "you make me feel overwhelmed by." Using "I" statements is a great way to avoid placing blame directly on your difficult boss. In turn, this should help your superior stay calm and less defensive during your meeting.

Listen

After you have said your piece, spend some time listening to your boss. Every argument has two sides, and resolving conflict well usually requires an understanding of both points of view. While your boss is talking, try to put yourself in his shoes to really understand what he is thinking and feeling. Your difficult boss may not have realized that his behavior was a problem. Give him some time to process the situation.

Propose a Solution

After hearing your manager's side, propose the solution you have prepared. Your boss may not agree to this solution, but it shows that you have given the problem serious thought and know at least one way to make things better. Be prepared to work with your boss to develop a different solution or modify yours so that it works better. Your boss may have good reasons for doing the things that have been a problem for you. A solution may not be immediately available.

After your meeting, anticipate change to help you get back to enjoying your job and doing your best work. Be patient because change often takes time. If things don't improve after a reasonable period, you may need to take the issue to the HR department. Not every difficult boss is able or willing to change, unless challenged by the company higher-ups.

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