Listening Builds Trust

LISTENING BUILDS TRUST Why do we ask questions? For several reasons: To gain insight into another person’s thoughts and feelings To learn To build rapport To get to know someone and establish a relationship To build trust And sometimes just because we don’t know what else to do (but we still want to foster a dialog). But it’s not enough to ask questions. We must also pay attention to the answers, thoughts and feelings volunteered when a question is asked. If you were to gain one skill in your business career that might serve you better than all others it is this: learn to listen. Listening Listening creates trust, engenders mutual respect and shows someone that you really do care. Unfortunately, so often we are preoccupied with ourselves and what we want that we rarely take time to listen to what it is that others want, even those who pay us—our prospects and clients. Learning how to really listen takes practice, discipline and commitment. It isn’t a skill that you will master overnight, but it will reward you time and time again in the form of long-term relationships, trust, credibility, advisor-status with your clients and respect. What that means is that your clients will readily accept your suggestions because they trust you as one who has a solid understanding of their situation and is looking out for their best interest. Four Keys 1. Listen with the Eyes The eyes are the window to the soul. They are also the center of your focus. Have you ever been able to focus on something at which you weren’t looking? When I look my wife square in the eyes as she is talking with me I show her that I care, that I’m present and that I want to hear what she has to say. The same is true with prospects and clients. If you listen with your eyes, you will have a gateway into the other person’s thinking. You will connect on a personal level. Trust will develop. 2. Restate “So if I am hearing you correctly, Bill, you’re saying that in order for your department to reach its goal you need my department to be available Tuesday night to take calls, is that right?” When you ask these types of questions, you ensure that what you heard and what the other person said are the same thing. Remember, all communication requires both a sender and a receiver—and the receiver must be “tuned” to the right station in order for the communication to occur. 3. Ask Questions to Draw Them Out “That’s interesting, Sue. Can you tell me more?” Sue can’t help but tell you more! You’re showing that you are interested in what she has to say and she can’t help but like you. A side benefit to that, if your intentions are focused on truly helping your client and not just on making the sale, is that you will gain invaluable information to help you “see” what your client sees. 4. Silence! Put your money where your mouth is and let them talk. Dale Carnegie writes of a man who thought Dale was a brilliant conversationalist when all he did was ask questions and then let the other man talk. Your clients, friends and family will all think the same of you when you let them talk. Show them they are important enough to you to hear them out. Action Items 1. When you ask a question, practice listening to the answer until the very end. Don’t begin to think about what you might say or how you might respond, just let the other person talk. 2. Draw the other person out with questions and phrases such as, “tell me more…why?...how did that come about?...would you mind sharing more about that with me…fascinating! go on.” When you show that you care more about your clients and prospects than you do about your own wants and needs, you will come across as a true advisor; one who cares and one who can be trusted. Then just watch your business grow.