How to Ask for a Job Reference

You know that little space on your resume that says “references available on request,” or that part on every job application that asks specifically for the names and number of two or three professional references? For some people, this is a stumbling block because they have no idea whose name to write down. It's not enough to list the names and numbers of your friends and family because most employers will actually check your references and they want to find out how you conduct yourself in professional situations. Ideally, you should have three references – one from a superior, one from a peer and one personal reference.

Asking people to give you a reference can be nerve-wracking, but it doesn't have to be that way. Here are a few steps that can help you ask for the references you need:

Create a list early in your job search. Early in your search, you should make a list of the people you think would be able to give you a good reference. Think about people you've worked with in the past, previous bosses, people you've worked with during volunteer activities and past co-workers. Once you have a list of about 5-10 people you can begin narrowing it down to the three that you need.

Chose the best people. Obviously, previous bosses, professors and other established professionals are going to be able to give you the best references. Because they've worked in a supervisory position, they are able to tell a prospective boss what you are like as an employee. Go down your list and circle or highlight the people whose references would look the best. Then-

Just ask them. This is the hard part. If you haven't asked for the reference, then do not use their name. Instead, contact the people on your list and explain that you are looking for a new job. Ask them if they would be willing to give you a written reference. If they seem to hesitate, you can suggest that they give you a recommendation on LinkedIn. Sometimes people will balk about providing a written reference but will view a recommendation as a lesser commitment. Even though you will be focused on getting them to agree, be sure to really listen to what they have to say.

Give them room to say “no.” Always listen and allow them to graciously decline – without any hard feelings. For whatever reason, someone might not feel comfortable giving you a glowing reference. If they are anything less than enthusiastic about your request, allow them to say no. It's better to have a few great references from less important people than even one lukewarm reference from someone in a higher position.

Always send a thank-you note. If they agree, be sure to thank them and go the extra step and send them a written thank-you note. It only takes a few minutes and it will let them know how much their help means to you and it will make you look even more professional. Later, if their recommendation actually helped you get the job, be sure to do something nice for them. It doesn't have to be much but a small thank you gift or even some homemade cookies would be a great way to show your appreciation.

Consider doing a reference check on yourself. Even if you're fairly confident that the people you've selected will give you excellent references, try doing a reference check for yourself. Have a friend contact each person, ask for a reference and write down what they say. You might be surprised to find that some of your references aren't as glowing as you'd hoped. It feels a little sneaky, but when the job you really want is on the line, it isn't the time to find out that you last boss didn't really like you.

Asking for a job reference isn't hard. It just takes the right approach. Hopefully, these tips have helped you get the references you need.

Have you ever been blindsided by a bad reference? What do you do to get job references? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

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