There is a saying that hindsight is 20-20. Looking back at an experience, it’s much easier to understand what happened or why and how the experience could have been avoided or enhanced. It’s easier to study something that happened than to understand the situation as it unfolds.
Who hasn’t looked back at their 20’s and found things they would have changed or avoided? Or, wished they had done something that they were afraid to try? Or passed up an opportunity that never came up again? Some would say that your 20’s are a time to experiment, and what you do in your 20’s doesn’t really impact the rest of your life. Not so, said clinical psychologist, Dr. Meg Jay, in her book and also in a Forbes article, “9 Job Mistakes That Could Stall Your Entire Career.” She feels that far from being unimportant, a person’s 20’s can be the defining moments that shape an entire career. There are nine myths about the 20’s she dispels in her book and TedX presentation.
Far from being a throwaway time of life, the 20’s are the time to make some decisions. No blaming the economy or job market for falling behind their parents or older siblings. The 20’s aren’t the time to rehearse for the rest of your life.
You don’t have to wait until you find your perfect job or career to get working. Jay says that the 20’s are the time to build up work experiences that can add up to what she calls “identity capital.” By taking positions and building experience, you’re also defining your career path. Be adventurous and a little unconventional. An unusual job or volunteer experience can be a conversation starter and set you apart from the rest of the cookie-cutter career paths of other applicants.
Another myth is that just because you’re young, you can do anything. No so. Everyone has skills, strengths and abilities. And limitations. The problem is thinking you’re Superman or Wonder Woman and being out of your league. This is true of any age. No one is perfect for every job. Have a serious talk with yourself and do an assessment of what careers you’re suited for and what your passions are. This isn’t middle school where everyone wins.
“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life,” is a popular saying that is another myth. No matter how idyllic your job, it’s still a job. There will be things you love, like and hate about any job. Most jobs are a little repetitious. Not all co-workers will be your BFFs. Your boss won’t always love everything you do. A job is work, and don’t let anyone tell you that it’s not.
Another myth is what works at 20 is OK at 30. Not so. Employers are willing to take a chance on a younger worker who is still trying to find herself. Not so at 30 and beyond. All that soul-searching and exploring should be over by the 30’s.
Even in a tight job market, some feel quitting a job you don’t like can’t hurt your career. Not so. If you’re unhappy in your job, before you quit, try to figure out why. Are you getting something out of the job that’s worth staying? Are you backing away from a tough challenge instead of working through it? Do you have enough savings to carry you through a period of unemployment?
Sometimes it’s not the job but the boss that’s the problem. Bad bosses may just be tough bosses, which can build character and teach you a lot about yourself and ability to get along with others. Some of the toughest work experiences help define your work style and the way you treat others as you climb the ladder. Every boss is a possible reference. Some of the toughest bosses are the best cheerleaders when you’re looking for your next opportunity.
The last myth is the “entitlement” thing. No one is entitled. You have to qualify for a job, earn respect and your next promotion and raise. Twenty-something’s get a bad rap when it comes to that stereotype.
Regardless of age and experience, you have to prove yourself on every job as you move on up. The Peter Pan syndrome, where you never grow up, doesn’t work well on the job. Take care to make good choices in your 20’s that will carry you through your 30’s and beyond.
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