5 Ways To Tackle Disagreements In The Workplace

@Jacqueline that is great. I am the same way - always positive and live life using humor. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But, like you, I have learned that in serious situations - in arbitration - that I can also remain calm while still seeing both sides and helping them to come up some resolutions. @Kristen that would depend upon the disagreement. If it warrants bringing HR into it then they should do so. The downside to that is that anytime HR is brought in, there's going to be a paper trail. And, if an outsider needs to be brought in - that could signal that there are more serious issues within that department or even within the company. I always tried to handle disagreements at the lowest possible level. You know sometimes that employee just might be on the wrong team and the manager can make some minor modifications by swapping two employees out so that they are working on different teams. If the issue has escalated to where arbitration is needed, I dare say that both the manager and the worker might be looking for a new job.

Helping others work through disagreements by facilitating communication is one of my strong points. I have a natural positive attitude, and it is easy for me to remain calm times of conflict. I want to add that in addition to remaining positive and calm, it is also important to remain serious during conflict resolution. I have a tendency to laugh and inject humor into situations to lighten the mood. This does not always work well when dealing with groups of upset employees. In the past, some have stated that they did not think I took their anger or frustrations seriously enough. Now I strive to remain calm and positive while still keeping a serious demeanor while handling with the situation.

This is a great article, but it does leave me wondering something. At what point is it necessary to bring someone else in? If the employees in question and their supervisor can't agree to disagree then who should be brought in to help? Should it be someone from the Human Resources department? Should it be the supervisor's supervisor? Who should the neutral fourth party be? It seems to me this happens often where employees and their supervisor disagree, but neither will back down regardless of the situation.

The section about asking questions definitely rings true. Everyone wants to be right, but people who are truly mature and seeking resolution are able to look inward when handling conflicts. It's easy to see your way as the best way, especially if you feel threatened by someone or have a history of conflict with a co-worker. All problems start somewhere, and looking at the situation objectively can help you identify times when you needlessly escalated the conflict or avoided a resolution due to hurt feelings or distrust. It's a hard lesson to learn, but the last thing you want to do is build up an image of another co-worker as an antagonist only to discover that the rest of the company views you as the problem.

I agree that maintaining communication is the first step to conflict resolution. Asking a question as simple as 'Where did you get your information?' can reveal a great deal about the root of the conflict at hand. If both, or all, parties are able to continue to communicate with each other even during the disagreement, it is much more likely to have a resolution with which everybody can feel satisfied.

Celebrating a resolution to a disagreement may be a little over the top. It could possibly send the message that people who cause conflict in the office are ultimately rewarded. I think that managers should focus more on celebrating those who are able to remain conflict free and those who improve the morale of the work environment on a regular basis.

@Jane great idea. Has it really worked? Even though you are showing caring, are you getting results? @Mike so very true. If you wake up in the morning with a cold feeling in the bit of your stomach, then it's time for a change. If the feeling is because of issues within your work area that are beyond your control, then yes I would think it's time for a sitdown with your manager. I also agree that you need to be careful how you approach the issues. Don't go in there slinging dirt over all of your coworkers or you will be on the unemployment line. But go in and quietly and politely explain what is going on - no emotion, just facts. Then try to offer some suggestions to improve the situation and see how your manager reacts. Managers are so busy that they don't have time to referee and they will appreciate your suggestions. Who knows, the situation could be over some silly misconception and can easily be resolved.

William, if you're waking up and dreading every second of your workday, it's time to look for another job. Finding new work because of friction with your coworkers is pretty common. However, you should make sure that your managers understand the situation and cannot help you resolve it before making a job change. If you do end up leaving, you want to make sure that your exit doesn't hurt your chances of landing another job.

In my various corporate roles, I have occasionally had to personally referee escalating tensions between employees. My favorite go-to phrase to calm down a situation was to ask the involved parties, "What do we need to do to make this right?" That one phrase told them I cared about their feelings and that I was sincere in bringing the conflict to an amicable resolution.

Thanks for the comments. @William the timing is up to you. If you are at the point where you need to hire a lawyer, then it's time to find a new job. Honestly only you will know for sure but, nine times out of ten, the employee will give up and walk away because the stress of an arbitration can get to even the best of us.

What happens if you don't trust anyone to resolve the situation properly? Hiring a lawyer is expensive, and disagreements can turn ugly without any illegal behavior. At what point do you give up and find another job? You probably don't want things to escalate to the point where you become sick or don't want to show up for work due to the tension.

Conflict resolution and communication training schemes are great investments for company owners. Unpleasant arguments chip away at the positive atmosphere in any workplace. Conversely, when people know how to communicate effectively, they can work together to drive company growth. Ultimately, when employers invest effectively in their staff members, companies thrive.

I totally agree with the idea of beginning the conflict resolution process with proper communication among the parties involved. This is because most of the conflicts that we encounter in the work place result from different people having patches of the full information. The communication process brings these patches together to clarify the issue.

@Abbey I respectfully disagree that a group meeting is the way to go. If two team members have disagreements and can't resolve them, then it's time for the supervisor to step in and help them resolve the issues. Bringing the entire team in could surely open up a hornet's nest. Maybe the entire team is not privy to what is happening and that's the way it should stay. Otherwise you are going to have coworkers taking sides, pointing fingers and have general chaos. Helping to resolve conflicts is part of that manager's job description so you should let him do his job.

I have a hard time agreeing with the idea that a supervisor should meet with people involved in a disagreement individually. I understand that this is a way for the supervisor to gather information about the issue, but I fear that this could just create more hostility and animosity, especially depending on who gets called aside first. Also, it's very easy for a supervisor to listen to the first side of the story and make conclusions. I would have to think that a group meeting would be the best way to solve conflict when a supervisor must get involved.

@Lydia thanks for your comment. I would think that would be a judgment call by the manager. He/she is the one who really knows that employee and might even know the reason why they are constantly argumentative or short tempered. Most of us are pretty even tempered so, when someone acts like that, there has to an underlying reason. If the manager sees the behavior or even if he is told about it by another worker, he can take that person aside and have a talk. Now, if this negative behavior is affecting the entire workplace, then it truly would call for more drastic measures than just a chat.

I worked for a manager who celebrated resolutions with office lunches and we enjoyed them. But what do you do with a worker who is consistently argumentative or short tempered and doesn't seem interested in change? What are some guidelines for knowing the right time to take disciplinary action after attempts to resolve the conflict fail?