4 Tips to Help You Cope with a Co-Worker You Dislike

A co-worker you dislike can take the joy out of your job, making it difficult to focus on work. As the negative feelings build, they can lead to intense stress and compromised performance. The right coping strategies help eliminate your frustration and make it easier to go into the office each day.

Create Distance

If the mere sight of a co-worker you dislike fills you with rage, the first step is to create distance. Take your lunch and coffee breaks at a different time and place. Close your office door, and avoid the places that the person in question frequents. If you sit near the colleague, request to move to a different area. Most importantly, stop fueling the fire of anger by minimizing interaction with the person. This method gives you a chance to breathe and lets the negative feelings dissipate.

Examine Your Anger

Once you've distanced yourself from a co-worker you dislike, take time to get to the bottom of your anger. List the reasons you dislike the person, and try to find the source of the struggle. When and why did it start? Is that reason or incident still valid? Then, figure out what you have contributed to the dynamic. An objective examination can help diffuse your anger, and it brings to light the ways you can change your own behavior to improve the situation.

Have the Uncomfortable Discussion

When you pinpoint the root of your anger, consider having a direct discussion with the co-worker you dislike. Wait until you feel calm and detached, and bring up the subject without accusation. Don't say, "You constantly undermine me in front of the boss." A better option is, "When you make disparaging comments in front of our boss, I feel that you don't respect my work." Instead of saying, "Your negative attitude toward me makes me angry, " use a statement like, "I've noticed that you're dissatisfied with my performance. Is there something specific I can do to improve?" You might find that the person isn't aware that his actions are hurting you. No matter how the colleague reacts, airing grievances can bring relief.

Report Bad Behavior

In some cases, there's nothing you can do to fix bad behavior. When you've exhausted your options for respectful conflict management with a toxic person, it might be time to approach your supervisor. Explain that the co-worker you dislike is acting unprofessionally, disrupting productivity or otherwise creating a hostile work environment. Lay out your attempts to resolve the situation, and ask for help. As an outside observer, your boss might be able to intervene or suggest better coping strategies.

Dealing with a co-worker you dislike is an unavoidable aspect of being a professional. By finding ways to cope with difficult people, you can create a more positive and productive work environment.

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