4 Tips for Dealing With Feelings of Rejection When Laid Off

John Krautzel
Posted by in Career Advice


Getting an unexpected pink slip can be a nerve-wracking situation for anyone, as employees often experience feelings of shock, anger, helplessness, fear and frustration. All of these emotions add up to the biggest one of all — rejection. It may seem like your former boss or employer flat out abandoned you, as if you weren't good enough anymore. You could even start to think that the layoff was in some way your fault.

Realizing there were circumstances beyond your control, however, leads to the first useful emotion after a layoff: acceptance. Once you accept you did your best, it's time to move on to bigger and better things. To approach your layoff in a more positive manner, try these four tips:

1. Keep Supporters Close

Start with your friends, family and loved ones who support you no matter what happens. These people form the nucleus of your support network and keep you motivated to move forward every day. Talk to these people about your feelings and get your feelings out in the open. No one goes through life alone, and your family helps you through life's struggles and pitfalls. Your loved ones and friends understand, and they keep you grounded while remaining upbeat.

2. Find New Friends

Once you rely on your most valuable friends, reach out and find new ones. Begin networking through people within your industry, previous employers and college connections. One of these people may point you to your next job. Plus, it probably cheers you up to develop relationships with brand-new colleagues who can give you insights as to how to bounce back from a layoff. One of these connections could turn into your new supervisor, lifelong mentor or a great friend.

3. Ask for Help

Career counselors, life coaches, job placement services and employment experts offer their services for people who search for a new job. These professionals can give you practical tips on how to market your personal brand to potential employers as you move forward from your layoff. They can show you how to accentuate your education, professional background and skills to present your best face to employers. Instead of focusing on the negativity of your layoff, start to create a positive mindset that employers notice.

4. Create an Explanation

Create an explanation for your layoff as you start to talk to recruiters and hiring managers. Don't dwell on the bitter feelings of resentment; rather, go toward a decisive statement that you rehearse ahead of any conversations you have with HR staff. For example, say something like, "I've been able to rethink my career, and I believe I'm headed in the right direction because of your open position with the company." Eventually you memorize this statement so much it becomes second nature and rolls off the tongue. Even more profound is you believe it as a statement of fact and rebrand your career.

Don't see a layoff as the end; view it as a new beginning. Do you have a passion in your life that you want to turn into a career? Perhaps a layoff will give you the motivation to explore that side of your personality. Although it's easy to get caught in feelings of rejection, the good news is there is a lot to discover in the sea of opportunity.

Photo Courtesy of Jerome Haines at Flickr.com

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  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Max it's hard to say - really. Are you applying for jobs for which your are qualified? Are you doing any networking? Check out the company and see if you know anyone there. Or have some type of connection maybe through someone who knows someone in the company. Sounds odd I know but, as always, it's not what you know but who you know. Find a connection and have them pass your resume through. Always better when a resume comes from within.

  • Max  D.
    Max D.

    I have had my resume looked at by 5 or 6 different companies that have specialised in resumes I have applied for 96 jobs in one year what am I doing wrong?

  • Abbey Boyd
    Abbey Boyd

    Being laid off can be the most dreadful experience if you allow it to be. However, you have to push right along and deal with it without letting the feelings linger. It's normal to feel sad and perhaps hurt, but it doesn't do any good to feel that way. Accept what has happened, knowing there probably wasn't much you could have done to prevent it, and move on with your life. It you sit in neutral for too long, it's just going to be that much harder to get moving again. As the article stated, lean on your friends and family, network to meet new people and learn from what has happened. And the best thing to remember is that a layoff can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. Reanalyze your career goals, brush up on your skills, make new friends, and you just might find a new career even better than the last.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Jacob sad but probably true. If a former employer promises compensation - get it in writing before you depart the company. Same thing with a recommendation. Of course if you are already gone, then it's just their word against you as to what they promised. Always get it in writing so that you can hold them to it. If you supervisor doesn't have the authority to offer compensation, get it in writing from the one who does. Unfortunately, if you are already laid off, this will fall under the category of lessons learned.

  • Jacob T.
    Jacob T.

    If you've been laid off, what leverage do you have with a former employer or supervisor who promises compensation or recommendation and fails to deliver? I am struggling to wrap my mind around this as I read the tips and comments - taking notes for details is a fantastic idea, but you've already been laid off, I don't see that a former employer will be twisting around to meet your noted expectations.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    Great tips @Sylvia. Getting laid off can be rough but it can also open doors to a position that you never thought of before. Keep an open mind and look in a different industry. The layoff may have been just the thing to get those thoughts rolling, to look at different ways to market yourself, to look at different positions and maybe come up with a whole new career.

  • Les Stettner
    Les Stettner

    Fit...don't kid yourselves. Most higher level executives have spent their entire career building relationships. Older workers are really indispensable when you measure their value versus their earnings and their younger colleagues. Why would you take a high performing executive and replace them with a person who has barely any experience when compared with the older executive, they are replacing? Smart companies jump over pennies to pick up dollars. I'll leave you with this... the cheaper company without any substantial vision for their future, will find that age discriminator's always end up paying double to stay competitive. What a missed opportunity.

  • Sylvia L.
    Sylvia L.

    As @William mentioned, it's important to take care of yourself during this time. There is naturally going to be an initial shock after receiving the notice, so let that settle in before jumping into your next adventure (if you can). Also, take notes as soon as you're able. Since it's an emotional time, you're more apt to forget important details. For instance, did the company promise you two weeks of full pay? A positive letter of recommendation? Be sure to jot these down in case someone fails to deliver.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    Thanks again for the comments. @Catherine I think that if we were being honest, all of us will tend to dwell on the negative after a layoff. And you know, for a few days, that's probably okay. Get it out of your system. But, after that, you need to pick yourself up and get moving towards that dream job or that new career or going back to school, etc. Anything other than sitting at home looking at the four walls and having a pity party. Get out - even if it's to Starbucks for a cup of coffee - get out. @Amelia I don't think that there are any rules regarding contact with former co-workers. Sure, by all means, stay in touch. But, for your sanity, you should tell them, upfront, that you do not wish to discuss your layoff as it's personal. Stay in touch with them. Meet them for drinks. It wasn't your coworkers' faults that you are no longer there. It's just the nature of the beast the same as it has always been. The difference between 20 years ago and now, when it comes to being laid off, is that we have social media where we can go right on to Facebook or Twitter or any of our other social media sites to let everyone know that you are no longer with ABC Company. 20 years ago folks would find out by word of mouth or a letter or phone call. So never burn bridges. Stay in touch. These former coworkers are the ones who could be the key to finding your next job.

  • William Browning
    William Browning

    One of the keys for dealing with a lay off is staying active. It's just like exercise that makes you feel better because of endorphins and relieving stress. Doing anything that you're passionate about, whether it's networking, volunteering, taking a class or becoming a stay-at-home parent, lets you excel at a different aspect of your life while you check into other opportunities.

  • Katharine M.
    Katharine M.

    These are great tips, especially the recommendation to network. Not only can it help you find the next job, but it's also good to be around people. If you just got laid off, you're probably interacting with people a lot less throughout the day, and loneliness can add to gloominess or depression. Getting out and meeting people and interacting with them is one of the fastest ways to improve your mood.

  • Amelia Freeman
    Amelia Freeman

    What are some tips for dealing with work friends? When is it appropriate to accept invitations out for after work drinks with well meaning former coworkers. Is it ever acceptable to do that? Does it depend on the circumstances? For example, once I was let go from an academic job simply because there was no longer funding for my position. In that case it seemed harmless to maintain relationships with all my coworkers, but it would be harder if it was more personal.

    Is it a good idea to stay friendly on social media with former coworkers? It's so easy to become connected with coworkers online. What are some smart boundaries to set?

  • Crystal G.
    Crystal G.

    Very good advice, not knowing this already it is actually what I did when I was laid

  • CATHERINE S.
    CATHERINE S.

    I am definitely one of those people who tends to dwell on the negative and assume that being laid off was an appraisal of my value as an employment. This article reminds me that we never know what the future holds. Being laid off from a job now can be viewed as an opportunity to work for a better company or explore another career path. I really appreciated your suggestion of really looking at your passions when this happens and truly examining what would make you happy and then making that dream a reality.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    Thanks for the comments. @Hema it is so important not to close off the world just because you were laid off. This is a time when you need to be around friends; when you need to get out to networking events in your area; when you need to go to events in your community where you have the opportunity to meet new people. @Tara absolutely that is the way we would feel - that it's a personal failure. Your mind starts going towards all negative thoughts and that brings you down even further. Instead we need to take this opportunity to do something that we always wanted to do but just didn't have the time. Maybe it's a time to think about a career change. Or going back to school. Coming up with a positive elevator type speech is an awesome idea. Putting a positive spin on anything right after being laid off is a great idea and helps us to deal better with it - and move on much quicker.

  • Tara Avery
    Tara Avery

    Rejection is so hard, because it so often comes along with feelings of personal failure. I really like the suggestion about creating an explanation. It essentially asks you to think up a positive spin for a situation that probably didn't seem very positive at all, and changing the narrative--even just in your own head--to something more about new opportunities and less about past 'failures' can be incredibly powerful. Thanks for this!

  • Hema Zahid
    Hema Zahid

    The advice about reaching out and making new friends is spot on. Some people may feel lost without their old work colleagues as those were people they would see almost daily. Making new friends and connecting with other professionals helps to fill that void. Socializing can have a positive impact on a person’s mood and can lead to an optimistic outlook which is a valuable asset during periods of unemployment.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    Thanks for the comments. All so true. Allow yourself that time for a pity party but don't let it totally consume you. A day or two or even a week, if you can afford it, is long enough. Then you need to get busy redoing your resume and starting your job search. The sad truth is that the longer you are laid off, the harder it is to find a new job. As the article states, it's not an ending but a new beginning and the possibilities are endless.

  • Jay Bowyer
    Jay Bowyer

    Rejection can be very tough to deal with — after all, it's easy to assume that one company's rejection is a direct assessment of one's character. That isn't necessarily so, though: you might be an ideal fit for another company. I think it's so important to stay positive, because otherwise, you risk becoming bogged down by feelings of self doubt, which could hamper your future success.

  • Shannon Philpott
    Shannon Philpott

    Really solid advice here. I think the key element of dealing with a lay off is to learn from the experience. Although it may have been beyond your control, it is also an opportunity to see what skills you are lacking and work to develop those. Making a bad situation into a positive way to improve your skills shows future employers that you have initiative.

  • Lorri Cotton
    Lorri Cotton

    A layoff is traumatic, to be sure. It's all in the way that you frame your thoughts about it. If you can find that one positive, such as the opportunity for an even better position that you will absolutely love, then it eases much of your distress. This article has great tips about how to get through an unexpected layoff.

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